The Yahoo.com Fashion Police

Today they are ridiculing Amanda Seyfried
For wearing a certain dress backwards

http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/fashion-beauty/articles/archive/yahoolifestyle/yahoolifestyle-amanda_seyfried_has_red_carpet_reversal

Which is rediculous because a day or so earlier
They thought it was hot and sexy, because of the zipper.


http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2010/04/fug_or_fab_amanda_seyfried42010.html not the original article, but they still like it here.

http://www.popoholic.com/2010/04/20/amanda-seyfried-looking-somewhat-hot/
and here

Clearly they had too much at 4/20 4:20pm

Getting on Oprah's show or her Network OWN

So far two courses of action. Promoting road safety with my driver's manual, and signing up for her new network to fulfil a lifelong dream.

Yes, her new network OWN, aka Oprah Winfrey Netork.

My dream is to race professionally, so a workable solution to that dream is to race at Indy 500, as anyone is allowed to, all must attend Indy rookie training school, which I would have to, I plan to pass and compete, should Oprah allow me that opportunity.

So either she has me on her show to promote road safety with my book,
Or she gives me the Indy 500 dream.

For her sake, the book showcase is cheaper to grant, and will pay me more in the end,
provided her viewers buy it.

The Indy 500, noone will care about me or how I got there, after the race is over, unless I won. Not that I won't be trying, but it will be tough for someone my age.

Two Things

1. I want to be on Oprah, with any of my books. Her show will end, and I'm thinking I need a countdown, it worked for Dave Letterman, it worked for Ellen Degeneres, it could work for me. Clearly she enjoys people wanting to meet her in this fashion, so I will try it out.

2. If Twitter has paying advertisers to pay us to tweet, sign me on. As a current user of thirteen twitter accounts, you can see how useful that could be to any advertiser. Obviously I'm picky on what I'd promote, so anything that promotes road safety, or drinking tea, or loving meat, would work. Are you reading this Tim Horton's? I love Tim Horton's tea. You can pay me to tweet that.

Space Traffic

Also posted on my profile jrharv at www.myouterspace.com

Since almost nobody in my major metropolis of Toronto
(And yes Metropolis in Superman was based on Toronto)
Can drive properly at all
I say this because they have the apparent need to
Think that LEFT and RIGHT are interchangeable
By turning into TWO lanes at once to prove they are a dunce
LEFT and RIGHT have not been interchangeable since
The dawn of Time itself
Neither have UP and DOWN
Or BACKWARDS and FORWARDS
Or PAST and FUTURE
Liquid and Solid may cross lines once in a while
But LEFT and RIGHT do not
Of course while they do this
They also DO NOT SIGNAL!
Driving should be taught at an age where you can grasp
READING and SIMPLE MATH
5 year olds could figure this out
But most 5 year olds are too short
And AIRBAGS are deadly so
Thirteen makes more sense
A child perhaps not yet in puberty
May have the capacity to comprehend
The art and skills of driving
READ ROAD SIGNS, and DO GEOMETRY
Reading, and simple math
Road signs are information icons at nearly every second
Of your travels
Geometry is a simple math a road sign informs you of
In pictures or words like:
DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION
Or MERGE AHEAD
Rectangular vehicles do not fit in Triangular lanes
Despite an Inability to read a Diamond-shaped Road Sign
Caddilac Escalades do not fit on 4" lines of white paint.
So here's the dilemma in SPACE
There are no TRAFFIC routes
No highways, no expressways, no regional roads, No side streets, no cul de sacs
No traffic lights, no road signs, no service stations
No fire, ambulance, or police emergency services
No school zones, no intersections
No parking lots, no malls
With all that missing
How in hell will a captain know where the hell he's going?
Or where he did go?
Or why he should go?
And if another captain comes by the same region of space...
Who has Right of Way?
Do they have turn signals on starships? Or our less advanced rockets and shuttles?
Is there a group of Extraterrestrials that
Police the universe's traffic?
How are you going to explain you didn't know how to signal
And didn't know the Crago ship from Alpha Centauri had Right of Way?
What will you do in traffic in space?
Clearly we need people like me to train the starship captains
On proper driver etiquette and skills
It's a much bigger commute
But I'm up for it.

Balance

All things require 2 sides
Up requires Down
Forward requires Backward
Future requires Past
Left requires Right
Despite how many motorists seem to think it doesn't
Stop requires Go
Oxygen requires Carbon Dioxide
And that is why
Vegans requires Carnivores
Without that balance
We'd suffer from Oxygen Deprivation
Because no plants would survive
Balance
Now you know

More than the Planets you know

I came across this link from
William Shatner's new Scifi creative network
www.myouterspace.com

The link discusses celestial objects in or relative to
Our solar system that are classed
As something other than planets
For reasons we're not entirely sure of.

http://revelationawaitsanappointedtime.blogspot.com/2010/03/dont-panic.html

The sun's evil twin reminds me of the Neighbour Star Nemesis
In Isaac Asimov's book Nemesis, which I just read.

And just why is Ceres not being discussed?

Formula 1 2010 Edition

After a few months of celebration by team Brawn Mercedes
They no longer exist
Driver and Constructor World Champions
The Team is renamed as Merecedes Grand Prix
Jenson Button is now at McLaren Mercedes with Lewis Hamilton
That was the easy part
Red Bull and Toro Rosso remained status quo
Same drivers, same probability of doing well
Vettel and Webber at RB and Buemi and Alguersuari at TR
Ferrari lose Raikkonen to WRC rally and gain Fernando Alonso
And Felipe Massa returns from his horrific accident healthy
BMW left so Sauber takes over, now Sauber Motorsport
With Pedro De La Rosa and Kamui Kobayshi
Where is Captain Kirk everytime we say that?
Toyota left and Stefan took over but despite possibility
Of an opening they were not admitted to the lineup
That opening was for the much predicted demise of USF1
Which has been blamed on their team principals but
Was largely affected by Bernie Ecclestone's constant
Ranting that they had no chance of being ready
He was proven right, even if he caused it to a degree
That was Stefan's hope for an entry but it was denied.
Had they asked earlier when Toyota withdrew
They wouldn't have had to wait so long
When BMW withdrew that allowed Lotus in
As only Manor Campos and USF1 had slots given to them
Manor was quickly renamed Virgin F1 as
Lucky man Branson was funding their entry
Timo Glock and Lucas DiGrassi drive for him
Campos F1 would also have financial trouble
So a new owner saved them to become Hispania Racing Team (HRT)
With long awaited prospect Bruno Senna, and Karun Chandhok of India
The withdrawal of USF1 confirmed Sauber's entry
Renault was also questionable for funds
A Russian driver Vitaly Petrov complete with 12 Million euro
And Lada sponsorship seems to have them in good shape to partner
Polish phenom Robert Kubica
Lotus has Jarno Trulli and Heiki Kovalienen
Virgin and Lotus have a bet going for
Who among them finishes higher in the standings
Billionaires and their bets
Williams hire verteran Barrichello from Brawn and
Rookie Nico Hulkenberg already nicknamed THE HULK but he isn't really
Cosworth has returned after a few years away
Williams, HRT, Virgin, and Lotus will have Cosworths
Mercedes, McLaren and Force India will have Mercedes
Red Bull and Renault will use Renault
Ferrari, Sauber and Toro Rosso will use Ferrari
Stefan would have used Toyota but at present is still out
All teams run on Bridgestone which will also leave after the season
If that wasn't enough drama there is the highly expected
But mostly denied until it was obvious
Return of Michael Schumacher at Mercedes partnering Nico Rosberg
The drama continued when he didn't like car #4 and insisted on car #3
Because of his aversion to even numbers
A previous blog post has my response to that episode
With my aversion to odd numbers
Bahrain practice on March 12 2010, get ready for more drama
It is still possible that teams with pay drivers not performing
This reads Vitaly Petrov at Renault mostly
Will likely replace them with another name from the past
Jacques Villeneve, who at present is ready for Stefan
Despite Stefan not being admitted due to the employment
Of Mike Coughlin of McLaren-Ferrari spygate fame
So it would be great to have Jacques return
But as is often the case, the cards are stacked against him
Which is sad because he is better than the equipment he had
In his last efforts at Sauber and Renault
Had his team been included we would have five world champions
Button, Hamilton, Alonso, Schumacher, and Jacques
For now we have only four
And Rubens can be happy he is younger than two people now on the grid
Michael and Pedro are older

Dancing With The Stars

We now know the celebs being chosen
If you can call them that
Pamela Anderson is best known for being
A misinformed activist for PETA
A wife/girlfriend of a few rock stars
A tool girl on Home Improvement
A lifeguard on Baywatch
And maybe some well read magazine articles...
How are the costume people going to hold her in?
No furs too, they are so screwed.
Expect a ton of black bars on screen for several weeks.
That should keep Bruno amused indefinately.
Shannon Doherty continues DWTS
Pension for keeping the 90210 franchise
Alive and retro
She may have a little less difficulty
Staying in wardrobe, but isn't far off Pam
Kate Goselin and Jake the Batchelor
These are celebs?
OK Melissa was on, and she has found a niche for herself
As an announcer/presenter type person
But Jake wears a Kazoo helmet
Kate needs Nannys not a dance partner
Buzz Aldrin, space pioneer
Assuming he was a mid twenties astronaut in 1969
He's easily mid sixties to seventy now
Which is younger than Cloris
Will Mark Ballas' mom be dancing with him?
After all his dad danced with Cloris.
Gold Medalist Lycacek should be a favourite
Because his gold medal routine had no quads
So dancing should be about the same difficulty.
Lewis Hamilton's girlfriend aka
Pussycat Dolls Nicole Scherzinger
May be just as good as Maya but will probably lose in the final.
No disrespect to Donny last time
He was very good, and had a better final
But his popularity was impossible to crush.
Prediction: One of the people I didn't mention
Because I have no idea who they are.

Simon Cowell Replacement

Despite me considering myself as the
Simon Cowell of driving
I'm not suggesting me, despite liking many types of music
It's not my thing to judge singers

Here are my 3 choices and why:

Quentin Tarantino, has already been a guest judge and a mentor on American Idol, is obviously opinionated, and knows music like almost no other movie director, and besides it may prevent him from making movies I don't watch anyway.

Hugh Laurie, plays Dr. House, all music on that show is decided by him, he also has his own band, and just like Simon, he's British.

David Foster, there isn't a soul in the industry with more music ability and genius than David Foster, many big time artists were produced by him, and he's no stranger to judging or mentoring singers on reality shows like American Idol and Nashville Star, he literally is music.

I did not number them, because any one of them would be a fine replacement. If they choose them because I said so, then I wouldn't mind the credit.

City News Interview

City News website for Toronto interviewed me on Friday regarding my book Harvey The Happy Helmet's Illustrated How To Drive Handbook. The interviewer did research me, and brought up my article on pedestrian safety, and my opinions on it. Be sure to look for it online later this week on City News website.

Pedestrian safety

Too many people are dying on our streets and I intend to educate people on how to stop it.

I am a caring, compassionate person, that actually gives a damn if you live or die, my area of expertise is driving knowledge and pedestrians are a major factor.

In recent weeks we have had 14 deaths in the Greater Toronto Area. It needs to stop.

People, as pedestrians are not looking, and people in cars are not either.

Please go to www.johnrossharvey.com and read in detail what I have to say.
The Vaughan Citizen newspaper has reprinted it, yesterday's (January 28 2010) paper page 8.

Thank you, the life you can save may be your own.

On Michael Schumacher's Aversion to Even Numbers

Go to James Allen's F1 Blog in the link provided in the title
Or here http://www.jamesallenonf1.com/2010/01/whats-in-a-number/#comment-45283

Clearly have a fan base among racing fans

Shorty Awards

On Twitter they have Shorty Awards

Please vote @acronymr for comedy so It can pass @billengvall

Thanks!

Networking with Twitter

In the old days a network was done by snail mail and telephone
Sometimes even the fax
Now most networking happens via electronic media
It could be standard email
Or it could be Myspace, Facebook, or Twitter
The latter is by far the quickest and most direct way
To network yourself
The more people you connect to
The more will connect back
Every connection helps your network
Just how or when is the only question
If in the case of Sarah Fisher @SarahFisher67
Trying to get Ellen @Theellenshow to the Indy 500
Using the @ellen2indy500 address
Twitter for some reason suspended @ellen2indy for
Likely overuse
However, I see no difference between this use
And David Letterman's multiple mentions of Oprah
To make her come on his show
Frankly I think @sarahfisher67 will get @ellen2indy
Because what could be more fun for @theellenshow than
Riding around the Indy at 190mph
Help @sarahfisher67 out
Tell @twitter to give @ellen2indy back
Tell @theellenshow that she should answer
She's not Danica, she owns her team, Danica only drives.
You'd be surprised how many Twitters are actually me

New Webpage

From time to time I will post something here
But it is more likely I will post from my new website
www.JohnRossHarvey.com

All the links are better organized and accessible there

There should be some more news soon, so stay tuned.

For now, go take a look at www.JohnRossHarvey.com

Thanks!

My take on Chris Brogan's Three Words

I am not an internet marketing self empowerment guru
Nor am I an author that sells in great quantity ... yet.
I am not a celebrity that needs to do nothing to get 1 million Twitter followers
Nor am I a news agency telling you about events.

Chris Brogan (@chrisbrogan) picked three words (his twitter in link above as well)
For his purposes, those words mean something to him.

I am John Ross Harvey, father, draftsman, writer.

Are those my three words?
No.

Focus: Not only is it my car, it is a great method of dealing with tasks.

Commit: I've been married for 14 years, I've been writing book material for 5, and been published during last 3. I will commit to write more even if I have to be as many as 4 or 5 other people to get noticed.

Twitter: To some this is a non-sensical place full of celebs and news, but many are missing how great a network you can create, the more connections you can make to people that can help you reach your goals the better off you will be.

There they are, Focus, Commit, Twitter.

What are yours?

Royalties, Pledge, and Charity

Since I make hardly anything on my royalties anyway
I will pledge $1 per all books sold at link in title
In either e-book form or print form
(E-book is faster if the gift is needed immediately)
To Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation http://www.cbcf.org/
Until the end of December
OK so that's only 7 days you say
If lots of you order, I will continue it for January
And I will tell you how much is going to CBCF
At the end of each month.
For less than a movie, do some good.

Traffic Rant

TRAFFIC RANT
By John Ross Harvey

My name is John
I know how to drive
I’m from Canada
Where most people think
It snows 365 days a year
It’s less actually
More like 165 days
I know what a snowbrush is
How it works
And how to use it
I’ve seen an ice scraper before
I know how that works too
Impaired motorists are not just
Inebriated by alcohol
They are also lazy bums that don’t have a clue
How to operate a snowbrush.
I’ve never parked in a fire lane
Because I possess a brain
Capable of READING!
I’ve never confused my vehicle
With a fire truck
I’m not an ignorant illiterate schmuck!
Green does not mean go
When there is no room on the other side
Of the intersection
Blocking the intersection
Proves a lack of brain function
Green does not mean Go
It means Proceed If and When the Way is Clear
If it’s not CLEAR it’s not When you PROCEED!
I’ve never confused a side street
With a parking space for idiots
Traffic does actually move in opposite directions to your
Maniacal ego!
Escape lanes are for people to ENTER traffic
Not for LOSERS to pass traffic
A lack of geometry skill is proof
A two year old is smarter than you are
They can at least identify shapes
A diamond shaped road sign
Informing you your Rectangular vehicle
Will no longer proceed into a Triangular lane!
I’ve never driven in lanes
Occupied by parked cars
In order to pass people
I’ve never confused a Parked Car
With one that is Actually Moving!
If you do any of these moronic activities
You are NOT a driver!
Only a Moronic Motorist
Thinks they are more important than
The rest of the Universe!
While they pass from behind parked cars
While they park in Fire Lanes
While they enter escape lanes
While they confuse roadways with parking spaces
All in order to prove their geometry skill
Is less than that of a two year old
While never clearing their vehicle
Of IMPAIRING snow and frost
Because they cannot master the SKILL
Of using a Snowbrush or Ice Scraper
Because they’d rather prove their stupidity
By operating a vehicle they
Cannot see out of!
Yet more proof that
HELL IS FROZEN

Proper Safety Awareness by Tim Horton's as displayed on thier Holiday Cups

I must congratulate you for the very appropriate image on the holiday (christmas) cups.

You have a father using a snowbrush for teh family van.

THIS I APPLAUD!

Much better than Canadian Tire selling wiper blades to clean snow off your window, or have a man with a snow covered van claiming he needs winter tires to stop faster.

Tim's Cup image is a much more responsible, much more correct and safe preparation for a snowy environment.

Snow Impairs, I think a group should be created to inform the masses that Snow impairs as much as Alcohol, simply by not being proactive enough to use a Snowbrush or an Ice Scraper.
If you cannot see out of it, don't drive it.
Snow Impairment's Not Safe (SINS)

You should be commended for an excellent use of your product to promote road safety.

I'm putting this message on my Blog at
http://threeforcesofevil.blogspot.com

Thank you for being a responsible corporation!

SNOW

SNOW
Originally posted Dec. 18 2005 at www.threeforcesofevil.typepad.com
and reprinted Feb.7 2006 here

SNOW
By John Ross Harvey

If you’ve read this blog a few times
You’ll know where its title comes from
Snow covered motorists
The Three Forces of Evil

Mobile Snowbanks
Defroster Dunces and the
Wipers Only Brigade

You should not drive a snowbank
Defroster Lines have limited vision
Wipers don’t clean your car
Snow on rooves annoy motorists behind
Snow on hoods (bonnets) annoy yourself
Due to continuous spray
Snow on windows and mirrors
Prevent visibility
Snow on wiper controls prevent
The ability to wash your windows
Snow on grilles prevent air from
Cooling your overheated engine
Snow on tires and wheel wells
Prevent good traction and accurate steering
Transport trucks, vans, and SUV’s
Must clean rooves
Giant chunks of icy snow from
Rooves of taller vehicles
Is Deadly
And it’s equally so on Cars too

So I ask the question
Do you drive this poorly?
If so, why?
Are you a snow dwelling life form?
With limited need for vision and safety
Or are you just an unsafe driver

The world will be a better place
If these snow dwellers cease to exist.

I have one word for them

SNOWBRUSH

Snow
Not
On
Windows
Brush
Remainder
Unbelievably
Simple
Huh?