Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Root Canal

By John Ross Harvey

What started as a possible ear-ache
Became a very strange day indeed
Going to the walk-in clinic complaining of my ear
The doctor uses his light device and said I have
No problem with my ears
He put pressure on my jaw, and pain switched sides
So I was told it was jaw problem,
Slightly out of alignment
A dentist would better be able to confirm this
Well, that didn’t help the fact that my ear still hurt
Take lots of Advil he said, not much else you can do
Thanks, doing that, not exactly working
Tell my wife what the doctor said
She insists I see the dentist
I mention at the dentist what the doctor said
They know that jaw condition and suggest a
Panoramic x-ray
Nice little radiation device spinning around my head
I fill out my forms and wait for the result in a chair
The dentist shows me a tooth model
You don’t have a jaw problem
You have a big hole in your tooth
Not just any tooth, a molar with
Nerves attached to main nerve
That travels to your ear
So my tooth is hurting my ear
And we have to fix it
You need a root canal
He’ll fit me in today so I’m not in pain for the weekend
(Today being yesterday)
So I get the monster needle of Novocain inserted
I can’t feel my tongue
“Has the freezing kicked in?” he asks
I make some sort of “uh-huh” sound
They attach some kind of rubber shield device
To prevent leaking of whatever he’s using on my tooth
He does his drilling and extracting of dead tooth material
Apparently my teeth are highly curved roots, not straight at all
So it took longer than normal
It got filled with silver I can’t sell to pay for gasoline
He shakes my hand and says I’m done
Honestly not that much pain
The ear-ache was more pain than the operation
OK I have Anti-biotics and Advil in my system
This may deaden some of the feeling
But to everyone that thinks a Root Canal is Painful


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Magnetic Field - Volume V

By John Ross Harvey

We’re buying a lot of gas these days,
Our bank accounts are feeling it
The banks seem to accept we’re all broke
But the Gas stations simply don’t care
They install the convenient machines at the pump
So you can Interac or use a Credit Card
But the annoying ones
I’m talking about ESSO
Have this stupid button for Speedpass
Something else to waste your money on
Except it’s right next to the keypad
You need to hide your code on
And because I have a Magnetic Hand
I cannot operate these machines
Without it claiming I cannot enter my Speedpass
At this time
Well, I’m not, I don’t have one
I’m covering the keypad with my left hand
The magnetic hand
Which their Speedpass button thinks
Is a real Speedpass.
Do me a favour, rip the machines out
I have to yell at the cashier because the
Lousy pump machine won’t work
Because my hand registers as a Speedpass.
Life is tough with powers