Thursday, October 23, 2008

Real or Unreal

By John Ross Harvey

I just read this news article:

Ok they play a virtual game based on their real life persona
But if this woman gets charged for killing a digital playmate
How many children will be charged for letting Mario Fall?
Or sending Sonic on a never-ending scream
Never mind the 30 something’s that grew up with Doom and Duke Nukem
All the 20 something’s playing Grand Theft Auto games
I know I’ve killed plenty of digital characters in Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Captain Falcon rules.

The world as we know it will change forever if this woman is charged with killing some binary data in video game.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Public Washrooms

By John Ross Harvey

It never ceases to amaze me
That every men’s washroom in a public place
Be it a Wal-Mart, McDonald’s, or even a Keg
Has had a sorry individual spend time
In a toilet stall
Specifically to
Pee all over the damn seat
Apparently this individual has never
Had to do a #2
Clearly if peeing was no longer an option
The public toilet seats might
Actually be clean
But as we all know
That aint going to happen
The seat pissers of the world
Outnumber those with actual intelligence
So they need a name
Seat pissers is too literal
They need a name synonymous with scum
They are the Scumbuckets
No name matches that for pure disrespect
No name symbolizes purer hatred and stupidity
Yes all the seat pissers of the world
Are the lowest scum on the planet
It requires more brain cells than they possess.
Raise your I.Q.
Find the bowl
If you miss
Clean it up
We aren't your maid
You obviously can't afford one
Or they'd have killed you by now.