Monday, January 29, 2007

Impairment

IMPAIRMENT
By John Ross Harvey

What is the definition of Impairment?
Many believe it is only Alcohol that causes it.
They are wrong.
The commercial where all the glasses get added
Showing poorer and poorer vision
Is suggesting how alcohol can cause Impairment.
It is correct.
However, impairment is reduced vision.
If your vehicle is covered in Frost,
YOU ARE IMPAIRED!
If your vehicle is covered in ICE,
YOU ARE IMPAIRED!
If your vehicle is covered in SNOW,
YOU ARE IMPAIRED!
If you do not take the time required
To make your vehicle safe
YOU ARE IMPAIRED!
Today I saw an Impaired School Bus.
The driver’s window was a sheet of Ice
The windshield was a wiper pass surrounded by snow.
The roof was a sheet of ice, which blew off in chunks!
How can any human being with a heart
Ever allow their children on a vehicle that impaired??????????
There are many awareness organizations
Discussing how cell phones and radios
Can cause impairment
Please understand the reality of this Impairment.
Every frost, snow, and freezing rain we have
Impaired motorists endanger your lives
Don’t be one!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Wednesday Whine Cellar

WEDNESDAY WHINE CELLAR
By John Ross Harvey

My favourite radio station
Has a segment they like to call
Wednesday Whine Cellar
Where you can gripe about what bothers you
Be it traffic, work, neighbours, or whatever.
Understandably I gripe about traffic often on here
I’m probably the biggest user of the
Wednesday Whine Cellar
But as I have changed my commute route
Many times to avoid the problem areas
I am starting to see less traffic problems
Or at the very least, fewer areas where they occur.
However
I still see many traffic issues that require attention.
Drivers running with 4-way hazard lights
If you’re turning, turn the hazards off so
We know which direction you’re headed.
Parked car passing is a disease; get medical attention
I understand neurosurgery works.
Blocking intersections with or without a sign
That says “Do Not Block Intersection”
Is apparently still beyond most motorists
Ability to comprehend
Apparently Eyeballs and Brains don’t mix well with them.
Transport truck operators need to prevent their trucks
From leaving the yards covered in ice and snow
500 square feet of ice flying off a trailer can kill.
Don’t allow it to happen!
Every snowstorm the identify stupidity challenge becomes easier
As the majority of motorists, I refuse to call drivers
Have snow covering all areas of their vehicle.
With barely a defroster line or a wiper swipe to see out of.
This is dangerous practice.
It is IMPAIRMENT!
You are endangering people’s lives by being lazy.
2-5 minutes to make your vehicle safe is worth a few lives.
DO IT!
If you have a gripe to get off your chest
Country 95.3 will listen
Listen live at www.country953.com
And call in.
I can’t be the only one speaking with reason.
Thanks.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Hell Isn't Fire, It's Ice

HELL ISN’T FIRE, IT’S ICE
By John Ross Harvey

I’m not here to denounce the Bible
But let’s put things into perspective
Many believe Hell to be Fire and Brimstone
Extreme heat
Capable of a very deep tan
But more likely a Sunburn
In all honesty
Is that worse than a Deep Freeze?

No!!!!!!!!!!

Hell isn’t hot; it’s frozen.
Snowball’s chance in Hell

That’s actually pretty good.

Need a new slogan.

As I have iterated for over a year now.
The Three Forces of Evil
Are covered with Snow

The scourge of Mankind
Followers of the Lord of Darkness
Are Motorists with zero ability
To understand the use of
A Snowbrush or
An Ice Scraper

Nothing suggests evil more
Than a Rolling Snowbank
Incapable of Full Vision
Through thin Defroster Lines
Or Wiper Blade Arcs

Satan, Mephisto, The Devil, The Lord of Darkness
Does not wear a Red Suit with a Pitchfork
He wears a Parka and Sorels

Are you more likely to fall ill in heat or cold?
What is the incurable disease?

A COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Invasion

INVASION
By John Ross Harvey

For years people thought we would be invaded
Mostly it was thought to be by Martians
Scientific data however suggests no life on Mars
Now after the various attacks worldwide
People believe that; Terrorists will invade us
Well perhaps yes, perhaps no
I have come to the realization that
We have already been invaded
BY STUPID PEOPLE!!!!
Don’t worry; they’re easy to spot, so stay clear of
Cars with no lights in rain, fog and darkness
Cars covered in mountains of snow
Cars covered in frost
Cars that cannot signal
Cars that drive right up to parked cars in the curb lane
Cars that ignore road signs like
STOP, DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION, and SCHOOL ZONE
Cars that park in fire lanes
Cars that honk when a light changes
Cars that honk when traffic is stationary
Cars in parking lots that don’t let you reverse out of your space
Cars that dive into lanes, which are ending in mere seconds
Cars that turn from the wrong lane
Cars that take extra lanes when turning
Cars that sit directly behind transport trucks on a highway
Cars that brake and swerve for manholes and train tracks
Cars that turn on red lights, that were behind the white line
For some strange reason
Even stupider people allowed these morons to drive.
You have been warned.We’ve been invaded!