Friday, February 25, 2011


Last night commuting home
North on the DVP between York Mills and the 401
I'm in the centre lane which can exit either 401 West or 404 North
There is one vehicle in front of me
And about 1/2 km behind me free and clear
A vehicle to my right signals for my lane
There is no space ahead
So I logically expect him to back off and go behind
But he has Icantbebehindanyonitis
It's obvious which area he can go without trouble
But he prefers to make trouble
So he inch slides toward me
I lay in on the horn
He pulls back
I point over my shoulder behind
He is clearly upset that he is not allowed to fit where there's no room
As the vehicle ahead goes up 404 North, and I turn for 401 W
This guy is still on my right
Granted now he has plenty of room ahead to pass me
Does he speed up and signal and move ahead?
No of course not
He has to inch toward me again
until he gets his rear bumper almost touching my front bumper
As the concrete barrier approaches between 401 West and 401 E ramp lanes
So I tap my brakes so he doesn't hit me
He erratically turns left before he hits the barrier
And I lay in on the horn
Stupidity comes in many forms
Icantbebehindanyoneitis is one the most dangerous versions
I can't stress this enough
If you do not fit
Go behind
Forcing your way ahead
Only pisses people off
And if it's stop and go traffic
Your plate will be recorded without doubt
I was not lucky enough this time for that to be the case
This one got away
Your car is only so big
Squeezing between 2 bumpers when a whole 1/2 km is free
Makes no sense to people using brain cells
Icantbebehindanyoneitis can be cured
Stop being stupid

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Snow Today

Not normal snow, it was liked Asbestos fibres, thin sticks of static snow
Like most people that use brain cells
I brushed off my car, and scraped where I needed to
Yes the defroster was on to help the process
But not on to do the job alone
Neither were the wipers
I've yet to understand how anybody with a brain
Can think wipers were meant to clear snow
They are made for rain, water, droplets, fluid
Not 1 to however many inches of snow fell
Never have been
Despite Canadian Tire, Napa or any other Wiper supply store
Advertisements created by misinformed accountants
You want to tell people to be safe in snow
$5 snowbrushes save a lot more lives than $28 wiper blades
But therein lies the rub
They would rather earn $28 a blade and have you be not safe
Then sell a $5 brush that saves your life
Money means more than Safety
That's Corporate attitude
And Uneducated people buy into it.
A snow arc just multiplied your blind spots 10 fold
The defrost lines take a lot longer than 30 seconds to clear a window
Take a good look at the photo banner of this Blog
Every snowstorm the minions come out
The Three Forces Of Evil this blog is named for
Let's keep it simple
If you cannot manage to do both of those things
Stay off the roads
You have no business endangering our lives
Just because you are too lazy to brush a few flakes
I rant on this a lot
Please use common sense and logic
And do not drive anything that resembles the landscape
And that goes double for GREY toned cars
NOBODY can see them
NONE of them use headlights, or tail lights
It's a disease
You have to be stupid to get it
Smart people can never be that brainless
End rant.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Foreign Exchange

Last summer our son welcomed a boy from Switzerland into our home for 2 months
August until October
We took him camping, and saw some national museums in Ottawa
Because my son was in French Immersion
And he was a French student here to learn English
They did not attend school together
But 1 other exchange student of my son's friend
Went to the school with him, so that was good.
Now its my son's turn
He is in Switzerland
Yes he's a bit homesick, we've Skyped a couple times now
Today they head for the ski chalet for a week
No internet
My son has been nabbing open networks off his iPod
He'll be skiing in the Alps
A far cry from Horseshoe Valley
But the parents are sports pros
He'll be fine
They walk a lot in Switzerland
So his exercise is already improved
He attends same school as the boy we took in
But he's in a different grade level
Despite the school being way bigger than his here
He hasn't been lost finding class yet
He's also opted out of German and Latin
I suspect French is enough for him
There are a few trips the family has planned
So he'll be busy over next 7 weeks
You cannot equal this experience
Unless you do it again
In three years we may know.
We miss and love him.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I haven't been on here much
Mostly do to other online activity
I joined
Which had potential to hire you for film and tv scifi projects
I'm really not sure where that is going
Despite Shatner's overseeing the site
I ran for public office in my city
Despite no funds and an online campaign
I defeated 3 opponents
I needed to defeat 10 to win a seat though
Overall, I consider that a success
I created a new comedy Twitter
Sometimes a bit more adult themed
But not always
Still plenty of traffic complaints
A service which tracks favouriting and retweets
Called Favstar
It tracks, clebs, comedians, and tech/marketing gurus
My brother in law has been there for ages
And was even in the top 105 leaderboard for a while
I'm not there yet
But I have 2 100+ star tweets so far among comedy peers
Yes, not average citizens that like humour
Comedy people that appreciate other people's humour
Sure the odd regular person finds your material
And when they like it too, it's better still
Remember that if anyone tries to put you down
Its because they are already beneath you
I've used my middle name
And what I do comedically