Thursday, May 21, 2009

Email Spammers

By John Ross Harvey

I’ve had probably 4 Russian wives per day
12 Singles that want to meet me weekly
42 Viagra pills real cheap a month
6 Nigerian dictators a month
12 Google money laundering scams a week
6 Importing companies a month
And this doesn’t count the people I don’t know
That want to follow me on Twitter
If we have no communication beforehand, then
You don’t get to follow me.
That’s just my personal email
It’s almost doubled with work’s email
Does it make sense that I’m reading
SPANISH FLY by William Ferguson
It’s about the dirty thirties and seasoned hustlers
Always out to make a quick buck
By convincing others to part with their money
On the chance of winning big
In games like 3 card Monte
Perhaps it does.
Scammers are often also Scum.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My American Idol Song

By John Ross Harvey

Don’t give me a ballad
Don’t sing me a thank you
Don’t write something schmaltzy
Give me a rocking tune
Even if its country

I cannot take the endless Idol songs
All about you got me here
Thanks for making me great
I want to hear something meaty
Not something to make me puke my plate

Rockers want to rock on
Country singers want to get you dancing
If I hear another sappy ballad
I may resemble Charles Manson

We want to hear real songs
With real emotions
Not fake songs
With overplayed notions

Let me hear a Done somebody wrong song
Then I won’t have to pull out a gong

American Idol is very predictable
Half reason why I’m leading
In the Facebook game
Of predicting

Unless Kris wins tonight and
The point values change
I’ve already won
Just like Adam

Who cares if it rhymes? The point is made.