Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Real Left Lane slowdown

Contrary to Globe and Mail columnist Road Sage Andrew Clark (@aclarkcomedy)says here:

Left lanes are often not slowed by people going slow
Rather Directionally Deficit Disordered Dunces
That do not read road signs
Saying where their exit is
And make sharp right turns across traffic
At last possible moment
Because these jerks drive in the left to pass
You doing the speed limit
They felt a need to balance their speed by
Causing everyone to break for their dumb ass
On DVP south I take the left lane because my exit is in that lane
All other exits are on the right
Sure take the left lane to move, but move over before
The last sign for your exit arrives
Most of our highways have 2-3 reminders before the actual exit
Kindergarten kids can count
You should too
Driving is reading and math
Mostly geometry
Signs are posted nearly every 100m
Not reading them means you miss landmarks
Like your exit is next
And that is where the left lane gets slowed
Because the signs are overhead or on the right
And these people have tunnel vision
Left lane morons are not slow, just illiterate
Andrew is a faculty member of Humber College Comedy Program
I did the 2004 Summer Comedy Workshop at Humber
On, my tweets have more stars than his
Just saying

Friday, March 04, 2011

Oddest Recall Reason Ever

If you click the link for the story
You will have greater respect
For Arachnids
Dangerous to know
They are attracted to smell
Of Gasoline
How many engine failures have been caused by them?
Are these the same ones
Your propane BBQ lines fall victim to?