Friday, February 25, 2011


Last night commuting home
North on the DVP between York Mills and the 401
I'm in the centre lane which can exit either 401 West or 404 North
There is one vehicle in front of me
And about 1/2 km behind me free and clear
A vehicle to my right signals for my lane
There is no space ahead
So I logically expect him to back off and go behind
But he has Icantbebehindanyonitis
It's obvious which area he can go without trouble
But he prefers to make trouble
So he inch slides toward me
I lay in on the horn
He pulls back
I point over my shoulder behind
He is clearly upset that he is not allowed to fit where there's no room
As the vehicle ahead goes up 404 North, and I turn for 401 W
This guy is still on my right
Granted now he has plenty of room ahead to pass me
Does he speed up and signal and move ahead?
No of course not
He has to inch toward me again
until he gets his rear bumper almost touching my front bumper
As the concrete barrier approaches between 401 West and 401 E ramp lanes
So I tap my brakes so he doesn't hit me
He erratically turns left before he hits the barrier
And I lay in on the horn
Stupidity comes in many forms
Icantbebehindanyoneitis is one the most dangerous versions
I can't stress this enough
If you do not fit
Go behind
Forcing your way ahead
Only pisses people off
And if it's stop and go traffic
Your plate will be recorded without doubt
I was not lucky enough this time for that to be the case
This one got away
Your car is only so big
Squeezing between 2 bumpers when a whole 1/2 km is free
Makes no sense to people using brain cells
Icantbebehindanyoneitis can be cured
Stop being stupid

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