Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Magnetic Field Volume IV

By John Ross Harvey

If you read my previous three volumes
You will know as a meat-eater I have iron rich blood
Which creates a large magnetic field in my left hand
I screw up compasses
I kill UPS systems, and perhaps alarms
And avoid bankcard theft.
But perhaps it has another benefit?
I seem to have very good luck with regard to disasters.
Though I travel to Quebec often
I was not there during the Ice Storm.
Though I live north of Toronto and work there
I wasn’t here for the massive Aphid swarm
We all know about Mel’s army
And the Snowstorm of 1998
Wasn’t here for that either.
I was in Quebec.
Most recently I took last Friday off to
Enjoy Wonderland’s Waterpark
Which allowed me to avoid
Traffic Chaos caused by a Train Derailment.
Though the Maritimes often receive
Hurricane aftermaths
None showed during my time there last summer.
As I will be away from Toronto at end of July
Expect something bad to happen
While I’m gone
Or come with me to avoid it!

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