Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Motorists Are Diseased

MOTORISTS ARE DISEASED
By John Ross Harvey

The majority of the motorists I see on our roads
Are suffering from a disease
It’s known as DDD
Directional Deficit Disorder
Here are the Symptoms:
-Failure to read and/or believe road signs like
THIS LANE ENDS or RIGHT TURN ONLY or THIS LANE MUST EXIT
-Inability to stay in one lane for extended periods
-Inability to signal a lane change
-Inability to turn left into a left lane
-Inability to turn right into a right lane
(Two lanes at once, means you’re a dunce, get psychological help)
-Inability to accept a lane opening while merging
-Inability to notice parked cars blocking their lanes
(Also known as PPCPPS or Pathetic Parked Car Passing Putz Syndrome)
-Inability to stop at a blocked intersection
(Also known as BI or Blocked Intersectionitis)
-Using escape lanes to pass people
Commonly known as ELB or Escape Lane Bandits
I call them LLL or Lost Lane Losers
The only thing being proven by any of these activities
Is the stupidity of the motorist, and how infected they are by this disease.
WARNING: DDD IS HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS!
No one is completely immune
I have seen Driving Instructors and Police with these afflictions
It’s amazing how much better someone can drive
If they bother to read, or use their eyesight.
This ends your Public Service Announcement

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