Signals

Originally posted October 13, 2005 at www.threeforcesofevil.typepad.com

SIGNALS
By John Ross Harvey

If you are turning, you should signal.
Common sense
If you’re lane changing, you should signal
Also common sense
If you don’t you’re a moron
You suffer from Directional Deficit Disorder or DDD
It’s an easy illness to defeat
All it requires is the knowledge and ability to find and use a signal.
Not too many people in Toronto have those things
Many suffer needlessly from DDD
And it can worsen
You could develop LLL
Lost Lane Loser syndrome
The inability to merge properly by driving until your lane disappears
It’s very sad when DDD escalates to LLL syndrome
All those poor souls stuck at the barriers, lost on the shoulder
If only they had been treated in time

An even sadder illness is PPCPP
Pathetic Parked Car Passing Putz syndrome
Where the suffering motorists believe that the space between parked cars
Is a passing lane
So sad

I’d like to help those who are suffering
Your signal is on your steering column
Up is right, Down is left, unless you’re in the British Empire

Someday I hope the needless suffering will end
One day there will be a cure
Help end DDD and LLL syndrome
Find a signal stalk today
The life you save may be your own.