Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Gimmicks and Call Signs

Originally posted Sept. 3 2005 at

By John Ross Harvey

Foxworthy has “Rednecks”
Engvall has “Here’s Your Sign”
Carlin has “Baseball Vs. Football”
Chris Rock has that “Jude Law” thing
Leno has a Chin
Letterman has the Top 10
Mine was going to be Acronyms
But I’ve evolved
You can only take a gimmick so far
Acronyms Can Run Over Nice Yellow Mercury Sedans
They’re called SUV’s
John Only Has Name
Have A Really Very Exceptional Yesterday
See What I Mean?
It can’t last forever, but some are priceless
Like Chevrolet
Crud Heaps Every Vehicle Rolls Off Line Extremely Terrible
Brain Membranes Went
Or Honda
How Often Nobody’s Driving Actually
But honestly most people hate Acronyms
They call them ASA’s
Another Stupid Acronym
Not much of a career gimmick choice
But If Rednecks and Signs work
There’s still hope for me.

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