Screwdrivers

SCREWDRIVERS
By John Ross Harvey

I’m not talking about Vodka and Orange Juice
I’m talking about the common tool
The screwdriver
There are 3 main types
Standard or Flat Head
Phillips or Cross Head
Robertson or Square Head
First and foremost throw away the first two
They are 100% useless
The best way to destroy a screw is for that screw
To be a Phillips or Standard head
Robertson’s don’t get destroyed; they work!
There are 3 main colours to identify a Robertson
Black, Red, and Green, for Big, Medium, and Small
If you are a Screwdriver Producer
Like Craftsman or Snap-On or whoever
DO NOT MAKE USELESS SCREWDRIVERS THOSE COLOURS!
When you are looking for a real screwdriver
And ask for the Red one, you shouldn’t get a Flat Head!
Yellow, Blue, or Orange are OK
NEVER USE BLACK, RED, OR GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
For all the toy and furniture companies
An Allen Key or Hex-head is OK, thanks IKEA
But if you want to use real screws
USE ROBERTSONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flat Head and Cross Head are OBSOLETE!!!!!!!
Never use them ever again!
Now I need a Screwdriver.
The Vodka variety.