Monday, September 18, 2006

PEOPLE I CAN DO WITHOUT-ODE TO GEORGE CARLIN

PEOPLE I CAN DO WITHOUT-ODE TO GEORGE CARLIN
By John Ross Harvey

I can do without those people that do Old Navy commercials
That’s as much acting, as I’m not bald
People that use a mini-tire on the highway
When you’re tire blows maybe then you’ll learn how to read
People that wire their own taillights on their cars
Their brake light is on, until they use them, then it’s the reverse light!
People that park in a fire lane
Big sign, large fines, 4000 spots to choose from,
But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, you need to prove you’re a prick.
People that order small coffees
It’s about a swallow and a half for about a $1
The water fountain is free, there’s about the same amount of coffee.
Vegetarians that tell meat-eaters to eat better
We do eat better.
Meat is better. That’s why we eat it!
If all the meat-eaters stopped eating meat,
We’d all be deprived of valuable oxygen
Because there would be no plants left to create any.
Meat eaters are a valuable service to mankind
Oxygen is available, because we prefer meat to plants.
People that buy the whole grocery store and line up in the express cash
The word “MORON” could not be more visible
People that like the colour Grey or silver
They even buy cars in those colours
But they’re not colours, there is no colour at all,
They may as well be invisible
And they are, because none of them know how to turn their lights on.
People that rob a bank with their pinky in the pocket
You should know Steve Segal is going to whip your ass!

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