Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Traffic Phrases - Volume II

By John Ross Harvey

Fog, rain, poor visibility
The silver grey car in front of you has no lights
“Grey car, grey road, grey sky, no lights, no brain!”

Darkness, by weather or by loss of sunlight
The black car ahead of you has no lights
“Black car, black road, black sky,
No lights at night, no brain in sight!”

The vehicle in front of you is indistinguishable
From a snowbank
“Mobile Snowbanks Defroster Dunces, and the Wipers Only Brigade!”
“Snow Not On Windows Brush Remainder Unbelievably Simple Huh?”

The vehicle in front is lightless yet again
“No lights in Fog, brains of a Log!”

Yet more vehicles without lights
“No lights in rain, no driver with a brain!”
“Headlights work, you don’t!”
“The reason a light bulb is associated with brains;
You need brains to use them!”
“Lights on moron!”

“Drive without lights, prove your stupidity today!”

“No lights at night, prove your stupidity tonight!”

People that get my humour are already smart enough to use headlights
Those that don’t will never find a switch in their lifetime.

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