SPAM

SPAM
By John Ross Harvey

What is SPAM?
One version is poor man’s Ham in a CAN.
Another has been affectionately labeled
To unwanted emails
Spewed Pathetic Accosting Messages
If I had a $ for every stock quote I’ve received
I’d already be a Millionaire
If I lost a pound for every weight loss program I’ve been mailed
I’d weigh absolutely nothing
If I had a house for every mortgage quote I received
I’d own a small village
If I had a woman for every sex pill message I’ve received
I could rival Gene Simmons
If I had a computer for every software or printer message
I’d rival the largest computer networks
If I had a bank account for all the Nigerian dictators that mail me
I could live very nicely in the Grand Caymans
If I bought everything I supposedly bid on Ebay (but didn’t)
I’d be in seriously huge financial debt
If I could write as many jokes as my friends send me
I’d start up a blog
Oh, right, I did that already.
To all the losers of this world, that are sending these emails
I hear Bill Gates is looking to hire.