Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Drive By Education

By John Ross Harvey

You all know about road rage
But I try to improve on its methods
I give “Drive By Education”
What is that, you say?
If I see someone driving in an unsafe manner
I roll down my window
“Hey! Its dark outside, put you’re lights on Moron!”
In the winter I have a rough time
As the majority of people cannot drive safely
They are what I call the Three Forces Of Evil
Mobile Snowbanks
Defroster Dunces and
The Wipers Only Brigade
It amazes me the level of intelligence you must need
To figure out how to use a snowbrush
No, it’s hop in and go for them.
Then you have Arrogant Parkers
You know the type
I’ll just park at the front door and go shopping.
Perhaps this will feel more important to you
When a Fire-truck runs over your car!
There are two more types of motorists that annoy me
I call them motorists as driver is beyond their ability
That would require actual intelligence
No these guys Block Intersections
“Oh, the light is green, I must go…….”
Anyone with eyeballs and a brain can Stop at a green light.
If you can’t cross it, don’t block it, Blockhead!
Then when you stop, because you’re smarter than them
The idiot behind you honks his horn
That’s a genuine indication, that the guy is brainless.
But worse than them
Hard as that may be
Are what I call Pathetic Parked Car Passing Putzes
Morons that drive in curb lanes between cars
In attempts to get ahead of you.
Here’s a clue people
Nobody parks in the Left Lane!
If you cannot see a Parked car ahead
Who allowed you to drive?

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