Who Am I?

WHO AM I?
By John Ross Harvey


Most people want to know
Just who is this guy?
What makes him different and funny?
Why should he make me laugh?
I’ll start with being bald
Not too funny unless you look at me
I’m slightly overweight
Not funny if you’re very overweight
I have a Magnetic Field in my left hand
I can hold a compass
And North is wherever I feel like
My ancestor created the Time zones
Sir Sanford Flemming
Before you blame me for the time changes
Remember this year it was George W Bush’s fault
Isn’t that great
My family is no longer responsible for time change
Because George W. decided to change it
I’ve been white water rafting
Because my college buddies needed a big car to get there
I had a 1975 LTD
Same story for the bar after graduation
I could carry 7 people, just 6 had belts on
I’ve gone to Racing School
I passed, and was very smooth on the shifter
Today because real racing is unaffordable
I race on the internet
I’m a 10 time driver’s champion, and 10 times team champion
Some of them together
My ability to push a slider bar is unmatched
Except for the 580 people better than me
At least the way the world rankings are calculated.
If being a Magnetic Internet Racing Driver with
A relation to the time zones isn’t weird enough to be funny
You need to get out more.