My Rant

MY RANT
By John Ross Harvey

Hi, I’m bald, overweight, and broke
I live in the Ferrari fan capital of Canada
And I cheer for the other teams
The only good Red Italian is a Valpolicella
My car is a Ford
My van is a Dodge
If I ever watch NASCAR, I’m not cheering for Chevy
I drink tea, not coffee
Scissors are not required for paper coffee packets
They are required for milk bags
Milk bags are cut at both ends
Curling is a real sport
Basketball is not
The VW Beetle is Retro
The T-bird is retro
The Mustang is retro
The Camaro is retro
The Challenger is retro
The Impala is not
An Impala has 6 taillights, not 4, not 2, 6!
Anything less is not worthy of the name
Taillights are supposed to be red
Not white
Not black
Not pink
Red
High beams should have a reverse option
A snowbrush is a safety device
People with brains know how they work
Green lights are not for mindless sheep
Smart people can even stop at them