A Day In The Life of a Torontonian Motorist

A Day In The Life of a Torontonian Motorist
By John Ross Harvey

The sky isn’t blue
Which should be a clue
To put my lights on
But I’d rather drive a grey car
On a grey road
Under a grey sky
To multiply my stupidity
With invisibility
Since I don’t have a brain
I wont put them on in the rain
It’s much easier to be ignorant than safe
When I turn left I’ll head for the right lane
And when I turn right I’ll head for the left lane
I enjoy proving I haven’t got brains
I have Directional Deficit Disorder
The intersection is blocked
But I’m a blind sheep to a green light
I enter because I cannot think for myself
I have no idea why my Escalade doesn’t fit on that
Little white line
I know I don’t fit, but I am a twit
Blocking the intersection because my brain has lost function
I suffer from Blocked Intersectiontis
While I’m at it
I may as well make several lane changes
Without ever signaling
To prove I must be drunk
Because I can’t drive straight
To top it off I will
Intentionally drive behind parked cars
In attempts to pass people with
Enough common sense to drive in a lane
That actually moves
Because I need to prove that
I’m also a Pathetic Parked Car Passing Putz