Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Rim Jim and the Hamilton Blackberries

RIM JIM AND THE HAMILTON BLACKBERRIES
By John Ross Harvey

So a Phoenix judge, Mr. R.T. Baum decided to not decide.
Jim Balsille still wants to buy the team and move it.
Gary Bettman wants to continue shoeing a dead horse.
Fact: Phoenix is a dead market for hockey
Fact: The team is in crushing debt to many parties
Fiction: Bettman has local people willing to keep team in town.
Fiction: We believe Gary Bettman
Fact: President Obama loves his Blackberry
Fiction: Gary Bettman likes his Blackberry
Fact: Jim Balsille wants a team in Hamilton
Fact: Hamilton will fill the seats
Fact: Toronto will not suffer from a Hamilton team
Fiction: Toronto will suffer from a Hamilton team
Fact: Buffalo is further away than 1 hr
Fiction: Buffalo will suffer from a Hamilton team
Fact: Canadian, and specifically Ontario fans...HATE BUFFALO NOW!
Fact: We don't buy their seats unless its our team crushing them.
Fiction: Ontario hockey fans fill Buffalo arena seats.
Fact: Jim Balsille will keep trying to get a team
Fiction: Gary Bettman will stop him forever.
Fact: Some people are sick of Jim Balsille and his efforts to buy a team
Fact: More people are sick of Gary Bettman not wanting him to.
Fiction: Jim Balsille is stupid.
Fact: Gary Bettman redefines stupid.

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