Space Traffic

Also posted on my profile jrharv at www.myouterspace.com

Since almost nobody in my major metropolis of Toronto
(And yes Metropolis in Superman was based on Toronto)
Can drive properly at all
I say this because they have the apparent need to
Think that LEFT and RIGHT are interchangeable
By turning into TWO lanes at once to prove they are a dunce
LEFT and RIGHT have not been interchangeable since
The dawn of Time itself
Neither have UP and DOWN
Or BACKWARDS and FORWARDS
Or PAST and FUTURE
Liquid and Solid may cross lines once in a while
But LEFT and RIGHT do not
Of course while they do this
They also DO NOT SIGNAL!
Driving should be taught at an age where you can grasp
READING and SIMPLE MATH
5 year olds could figure this out
But most 5 year olds are too short
And AIRBAGS are deadly so
Thirteen makes more sense
A child perhaps not yet in puberty
May have the capacity to comprehend
The art and skills of driving
READ ROAD SIGNS, and DO GEOMETRY
Reading, and simple math
Road signs are information icons at nearly every second
Of your travels
Geometry is a simple math a road sign informs you of
In pictures or words like:
DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION
Or MERGE AHEAD
Rectangular vehicles do not fit in Triangular lanes
Despite an Inability to read a Diamond-shaped Road Sign
Caddilac Escalades do not fit on 4" lines of white paint.
So here's the dilemma in SPACE
There are no TRAFFIC routes
No highways, no expressways, no regional roads, No side streets, no cul de sacs
No traffic lights, no road signs, no service stations
No fire, ambulance, or police emergency services
No school zones, no intersections
No parking lots, no malls
With all that missing
How in hell will a captain know where the hell he's going?
Or where he did go?
Or why he should go?
And if another captain comes by the same region of space...
Who has Right of Way?
Do they have turn signals on starships? Or our less advanced rockets and shuttles?
Is there a group of Extraterrestrials that
Police the universe's traffic?
How are you going to explain you didn't know how to signal
And didn't know the Crago ship from Alpha Centauri had Right of Way?
What will you do in traffic in space?
Clearly we need people like me to train the starship captains
On proper driver etiquette and skills
It's a much bigger commute
But I'm up for it.