Saturday, February 11, 2006

Automobile Slogans

Originally posted July 6, 2005 at www.threeforcesofevil.typepad.com

AUTOMOBILE SLOGANS
By John Ross Harvey

All carmakers have slogans
You’ve heard them
But what do they mean?
Chevy: Like a Rock!
Completely devoid of Beauty whatsoever.
Pontiac: Built for Drivers.
That cannot find a light switch.
VW: Drivers Wanted!
Because they haven’t got any yet.
Dodge: Grab life by the Horns.
Prepare to die in our vehicle instead.
Mercedes-Benz: Engineered to move the Human Spirit.
For an Arm, leg, and other appendages.
Honda: The Power of Dreams.
Keep dreaming kid this isn’t a Ferrari
Acura: Precision Crafted Performance
A really expensive Honda
Volvo: For Life
You have kids and this is your wagon
Subaru: When you Get it, You Get it
Our commercials are bad
Ford: Have you Driven a Ford Lately?
Stop buying Chevys
BMW: The Ultimate Driving Machine
For Idiots than can afford it but cannot drive
Jaguar: Unleash a Jaguar
Buy lots of oil, the trail is your leash
Jeep: There’s Only One
But we keep getting copied
Hyundai: Drive Your Way
We’re so cheap you can take your pick
Lexus: The Passionate Pursuit of Perfection
With a Price to Match
Porsche: There is No Substitute
Speed, and good looks, babe magnet baby!
Oldsmobile: This is not your Father’s Oldsmobile
But our technology is that old
Cadillac: Break Through
Our styling is unique
Saab: Find Your Own Road
Saabs are that Ugly.

No comments: