Country Music

Originally posted July 7, 2005 at www.threeforcesofevil.typepad.com

COUNTRY MUSIC
By John Ross Harvey

In the old days, rock & roll was sinful,
Teaching you about sex, and drugs, and alcohol.
Now that you’re older you have more refined tastes.
You listen to Country.
It has songs about, sex, drugs, and alcohol.
Lots of alcohol.
There’s the double suicide drinking song: “Whiskey Lullaby”
There’s party hour song: “It’s 5-oclock somewhere”
There’s the anthem: “The world needs a drink”
There’s that first sexual experience: “That Summer”
There’s that wild sexual experience: “Ride a cowboy”
There’s the forbidden sexual experience “ I may hate myself in the morning”
There’s the choice song: “Drugs or Jesus”
Yup, it’s much more civilized.
So why don’t teenagers listen to it?
I guess they don’t drink or have sex anymore.
That can only be a good thing.