New Cars

Originally posted Aug. 8 2005 at www.threeforcesofevil.typepad.com

NEW CARS

By John Ross Harvey

You’ve seen them, new cars, white taillights.
WHY?????????
They brake PINK!
Is this what a man wants?
Do you like Pink Taillights?
Do you have Pink Taillights?
CHANGING THEM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some have black taillights.
That works real well in the dark when they are needed.
What’s with Daytimers?
They are useless. If it’s sunny outside they are OK.
If it’s grey or dark outside, they are useless.
They should be called Dumbtimers.
Only the dumb people use these in poor light conditions
Like rain, Fog, Snow or Darkness!
They should be called Couch Potato Lights.
Nobody knows how to flick a switch.
Sometimes they are parking lights.
When are these useful?
The car is off when parked.
You don’t park while driving.
Why do parking lights even exist?
Then you have the guys that buy the SUV’s
And spend just as much to make them lowriders
So they are no longer SUV’s.
Well in the sense you know they aren’t
But they remain Seriously Ugly Vehicles
Why do cars have numbers and letters these days?
323 DX and LS and SE and G6 and ES
Whatever happened to GTO, LTD and 914?