Time

Originally posted Aug. 16 2005 at www.threeforcesofevil.typepad.com

TIME
By John Ross Harvey

We can all relate to time.
You have it or you don’t.
You need it, or you don’t.
Or you’ve lost it.
How many people have watches that go berserk?
You lose batteries, time, and watches regularly?
I do, it’s my magnetic field.
To avoid this I use a belt clip watch, so far, so good.
Anybody confused with Time zones?
Why do they exist, and who came up with it?
My ancestor came up with it.
Sir Sanford Fleming got fed up changing his watch in every city he went to.
Apparently before the 1 hour time zones, or ½ hour in Newfoundland
Every city set their clock at high noon whenever the sun was high in the sky.
So Kingston was 12 minutes ahead of Toronto, and behind Montreal
That poor guy that went around the world in 80 days.
Is he sure it took that long?
The time altering would have driven him nuts.
So, if you really hate time zones, and your mad at me
Because my ancestor made them, don’t be
It could be much worse.
Now who has had to explain time to a child?
Dave Allen said it best
Time has three hands,
The first is the hour hand
The second is the minute hand
And the third is the second hand
For now, we’ll just use two hands.
Then you get the scientific analysis that time is the 4th dimension.
We all know the Twilight zone is the 5th.
If you believe Rod Serling.