Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Hollywood Couples

By John Ross Harvey

You’ve heard them, the nicknames for Hollywood couples
Ben-ifer for Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
Ben-ifer2 now that he’s with Jennifer Garner perhaps
TomKat for Tom Cruise and Katy Holmes
Bra-ngelina for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Now we have Vince-ifer for Vince Vaughan with Jennifer Anniston
Is it just me, or is Jennifer a fairly common half for a couple?
Did they ever do Adrian Pazdar with Dixie Chick Natalie Maines?
Adnat or maybe Pazmaines or Natad or Maipaz
What about Keanu Reeves and Diane Keaton, um yes, weird, but
Keane or Dinu or Reeton or Keaves
Apparently it has to sound catchy to work well
Like perhaps Harrison Ford with Michelle Pfeiffer could be Pfeiford
Or perhaps Harichelle, if they were together
Evangeline Lilly with Dominic Monaghan is a toughie
Evaninic or Domiline or Lillyhan or Monilly
It just doesn’t work well
The old Copy guy from Saturday Night Live must be the inspiration
Why else would the names annoy us to death?

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