By John Ross Harvey
A lot of people are married
What happens when you’re married?
You’re never allowed to be right?
You’re sworn at when you reach things
And you become a torture victim
If my wife sees one light hair
In my eyebrows
She runs for the tweezers
And punches me for squinting
I hate having my eyebrows plucked
She used to pull my nose hairs too
I bought an electric nose trimmer
That at least prevents half of the torture
I can never see the eyebrow hairs
That drive my wife nuts
I swear they appear for mere seconds
Before my wife has plucked them out.