Saturday, May 12, 2007


By John Ross Harvey

There are things that happen in life
Which are funny
You have to remember them
When painting our powder room red
I got paint on my head
My wife pointed at it and I said:
The antenna snapped off my car
After an ice storm
And the radio still works
So my car comes with a useless device
And the weather made me realize it.
Before I was married
I did a lip synching dance number
Complete with pyrotechnics on a green screen
To INXS’ New Sensation
Around the same time I went to a Portuguese wedding
And danced up a storm there
The bride informed me, that I was a celebrity in Portugal
Because I danced so madly
In her wedding video, which most of Portugal had then seen
I borrowed a movie off a friend
And slept through parts of it
I told her I liked what I saw
Which wasn’t really lying
I asked my neighbour to lend me her DaVinci Code book
She’d been trying to read it for months, but struggled
She saw me after I bought the paperback
When I was half done in 2 days
The look on her face was priceless.
Snowstorms always happen on days you need to be home early.
It only rains after you wash the car
Gas prices rise immediately before you need it.

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