Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Marketing Slogans

By John Ross Harvey

Maxwell House: “Good to the Last Drop.”
Meaning: It’ll never be great

Timex: “It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”
Meaning: Our parts are so big they can’t possibly be re-arranged.

Mazda: “Zoom, zoom, zoom.”
Meaning: Our marketing guys got bored.

Coca-Cola: “It’s the real thing.”
Meaning: Pepsi isn’t real

Zest: “You’re not clean until you’re Zestfully clean.”
Meaning: A non-soap with the name of an orange peel needs help

Nike: “Just do it.”
Meaning: We can’t compete with the Adidas acronym
“All Day I Dream About Sex.”

KFC: “Finger licking good.”
Meaning: We hope you like grease, we have lots.

Rice Krispies: “Snap! Crackle! Pop!”
Meaning: Rice is boring we needed some excitement

Hallmark: “When you care enough to send the very best.”
Meaning: Don’t buy other cards, especially Carlton

Walmart: “Always low prices. Always.”
Meaning: If you say it twice, maybe it’s true.

Apple (Mac): “Power to be your best.”
Meaning: Ctrl-Alt-Del is not required for a restart

Subway: “Eat fresh.”
Meaning: Don’t eat frozen burgers

Smarties: “Do you eat the red ones last?”
Meaning: Be careful red ones may contain Red Dye #5

Tim Horton’s: “Rrroll up the rim to win.”
Meaning: Fat chance you’re winning boy.

Lays: “Bet you can’t eat just one.”
Meaning: How many people are dumb enough to try

Crest: “Look, Ma, no cavities!”
Meaning: Don’t buy Colgate

Schlitz: “The Beer that made Milwaukee famous.”
Meaning: Stop buying cheap Old Milwaukee

Purina: “All you add is love.”
Meaning: It tastes like dirt the poor dog needs something

York Peppermint: “Get the sensation.”
Meaning: We can’t compete with chocolate bars

Esso: “Put a Tiger in your tank.”
Meaning: We will continue to sue Frosted Flakes

Campbell’s: “Mm, mm good.”
Meaning: Stop buying Lipton’s

Whisk: “Ring around the collar.”
Meaning: Annoying works

Tab: “How can one calorie taste so good?”
Meaning: We lucked out with this experiment

Yellow Pages: “Let your fingers do the walking.”
Meaning: We thought that up during the dial phone era.

Nice & Easy: “Does she or doesn’t she?”
Meaning: Clairol is more colourful than us.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nortel: Business made simple
Meaning: Accounting ... not so much

In case you want a sequel to this: